Wesley, the faithful and affectionate friend

 

Odilon Massolar Chaves

 


 

 

Copyright © 2026, Odilon Massolar Chaves

All rights reserved to the author.

It is allowed to read, copy and share for free.

Article 184 of the Penal Code and Law 96710 of February 19, 1998.

Books published in the Wesleyan Digital Library: 889

Books published by the author: 929

Cover: https://www.facebook.com/groups/graceforallcoalitionph/posts/584999059622885/

Odilon Massolar Chaves is a retired Methodist pastor, with a doctorate in Theology and History from the Methodist University of São Paulo.

Son of Rev. Adherico Ribeiro Chaves and Roza Massolar Chaves.

He is married to RoseMary.

He has two daughters: Liliana and Luciana.

His thesis dealt with the Methodist revival in England in the eighteenth century and its contribution as a paradigm for our days.

 

"Friendship is a kind of love; and it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal love between two people. Perverse people seem, it seems, incapable of friendship"

(Wesley)

 

Table of Contents

 

 

·       Introduction

·       Friendship is a kind of love

·       Was recommended by someone you were friends with

·       It can therefore perform those offices of friendship

·       More ungrateful examples of friendship

·       Add this to the other friendship situations that you have shown on all occasions

·       It may be that this is the beginning of a lasting friendship

·       I wish our friendship wasn't over

·       You should study all the ways to maintain your friendship with Sammy Wesley

·       A heart susceptible to friendship

·       Your freedom is the best proof of your friendship

·       I guess friendship demands that I owe

·       She's going to need more from a faithful friend

·       Friendship forces me to speak directly

·       I sincerely advise you to make friends with Mr. Dickinson

·       I'm so aware of your true friendship

·       The enemy has put on the face of an angel, and you take him as a friend

·       What I am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend

·       I'm not a great friend of solitary Christianity

·       Why do you forget your friends?

·       My dear friend

·       But I couldn't leave my friend

·       I advise you to make it a sincere prayer; and surely God will give you a friend

·       Our relationship with a dear friend

·       You have affectionate, wise, and godly friends

·       I would be happy to have the opportunity to see my friends

·       You prejudice my close friends against me

·       We received sweet counsel together and walked to God's house as friends

 

Introduction

 

"Wesley, the Faithful and Loving Friend" is a 43-page book based especially on Wesley's letters.

To Ann Bolton, on September 27, 1777, Wesley said, "And sometimes you have been free and open with me; but at other times you have been more timid and distant. My Nancy, may this time of distance and reserve not come back! Be to me always (if you can) what I am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend." [1]

Wesley had friendships with Christian men and women. Wesley sought and encouraged friendship because, for him, Christianity was not a solitary religion.

But the best friendship was with "affectionate, wise, and pious friends, deeply experienced in the way of God." [2] So he said to Peggy Dale on May 20, 1769.

To Miss March, on June 17, 1774, Wesley said, "Friendship is a kind of love; and it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal love between two persons."[3] An unbeliever cannot have such friendship.

Wesley was by nature a friend and liked to make friends. To Joseph Benson, Wesley always ended the letter by saying, "Your affectionate friend and brother."

Wesley even wrote, on July 10, 1771, a letter "To Various Preachers and Friends". [4]

To others, Wesley ended the letter by saying, "I am your affectionate friend and brother." [5]

An example of Wesley's great friendship was with George Whitefield, although they had different doctrinal positions (see cover). In 1770, Wesley ends a letter by saying to Whitefield: "Your friend and brother always affectionate". [6]

About the marks of a friendship, Wesley said to Elizabeth Ritchie, on September 20, 1776: "(...) someone with whom you had friendship, who you knew to be upright and sincere, and who had both good sense and pleasant treatment". [7]

Wesley even speaks of "offices of friendship." Writing to Ann Bolton on July 8, 1785, he said, "She may therefore perform those offices of friendship which I would rejoice to perform if I were near you." [8]

Friendship implies having the freedom to be frank and sincere. To Ebenezer Blackwell, March 12, 1759, Wesley said, "You never spoke to me with so much freedom as I pleased. Your freedom is the best proof of your friendship." [9]

A true friendship has an impact because the heart is trusting and open to the friend. To Henry Brooke, who wrote him a letter in a "gentle and loving spirit," Wesley wrote on April 21, 1783, "I am so conscious of your true friendship here that I cannot write without weeping. The words you mention were too strong; they will no longer fall out of my mouth." [10]

Wesley was the ultimate leader of Methodism and yet he was a friend and friendship with simple people.

The Author

 

 

Friendship is a kind of love

 

Friendship is a kind of love; and it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal love between two people. Perverse people seem, it seems, incapable of friendship

 

To Miss March

SUNDERLAND, June 17, 1774.

I am glad you think of me when you do not see me; I almost feared it would be different. Air and exercise you must have; and if you use constant exercise with an exact regimen, it is not improbable that you will be in vigorous health if you live to be thirty or four. About this time the constitution of both men and women often takes a complete turn. At present you are in your place, and need not worry about the next day.

Praying so much for those we love is undoubtedly the fruit of affection, but an affection that is well pleasing to God, and is wrought in us by His own Spirit. It is therefore certain that the intercession which arises from this affection is according to the will of God.

That is an exceedingly good question. 'How far can we desire the approval of good men' I do not think it can be proved that such a desire is forbidden anywhere in the Scriptures. But it requires a very strong influence of the Holy Spirit to prevent it from becoming excessive.

Friendship is a kind of love; and it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal love between two persons. Wicked persons seem, it seems, incapable of friendship. For 'he that feareth not God may love friend.' Nor, indeed, is every one that fears God capable of friendship. It requires a peculiar approach of the mind, without which it cannot exist. The properties of Christian friendship are the same as the properties of love; with those which St. Paul so beautifully describes in the 13th chapter of the First Epistle to the Corinthians. And it produces, as occasions offer, every good word and deed. Many have laid down the rules by which it is to be regulated; but they are not to be composed in a few lines. One is, 'Commit all to your friend except a good conscience toward God.'

No doubt there were cases of true friendship between Jews, yea, and between heathen, who were susceptible of it: but by no means were they wicked men; they were men fearing God, and acting justly according to the administration under which they were. I regard wicked men, under any disposition, absolutely incapable of true friendship. By wicked men I mean openly profane men, or men devoid of justice, mercy, and truth. There may be a shadow of friendship between them, whether of the same sex or of different sexes. But surely the substance is wanting; in all my experience I have found no exception to this rule.

After an acquaintance of thirty-four years, I myself cannot have liberty with Miss Johnson. But I do not know, but you can. In many respects she judges sincerely, though her natural understanding is not strong. That of Miss Newman is: the more you know her, the more you will try her spirit. The others you mentioned want a little more age and experience; so they can make companions for you. [11]

 

Was recommended by someone you were friends with

 

He was especially able to make an impression on you, for he was recommended by one with whom you were friendly, whom you knew to be upright and sincere, and who had both good judgment and pleasant treatment. At the same time, this subtle enemy—who deceived Eve with his subtlety—would not fail to reinforce the temptation

 

To Elizabeth Ritchie

PUBLOW, September 20, 1776.

MY DEAR BETSY,-- Some time ago you certainly ran the risk of exchanging the simple religion of the Bible for the refined religion of Mysticism, a danger which few can judge except those who feel it. My brother and I have done this for several years. This scheme, especially as Madame Guyon has polished and improved it, gives a delicate satisfaction to any curiosity and self-esteem that is hidden in the heart. It was especially capable of making an impression on you, for it was recommended by one with whom you were acquainted, whom you knew to be upright and sincere, and who had both good sense and pleasant treatment. At the same time, that subtle enemy—who deceived Eve by his subtlety—would not fail to reinforce the temptation. The more reason you have to bless God, you are freed from the trap of the hunter.

'He that followeth Me,' says our Lord, 'walketh not in darkness.' Nothing can be more certain. Follow Him closely, and you will never again fall into any darkness of soul. On the contrary, your light will shine brighter and brighter till the perfect day. Nothing but sin can confound you; and this, I trust, God has marked under your feet. Surely, then, you need not lose even the least part of what God has given you. But you can 'stand firm in glorious liberty' until your spirit returns to God.--I remain

With affection. [12]

 

It can therefore perform those offices of friendship

 

I am glad, therefore, that a good Providence has given you one with whom you can more easily see and correspond. [Probably Hannah Ball.] You can certainly trust her in every situation; and she has understanding, pity, and experience. She can therefore perform those offices of friendship which I would rejoice to perform if I were near you.

 

To Ann Bolton

DUBLIN, July 8, 1785.

MY DEAR NANCY, - It is doubtless convenient for you to have a friend whom you can fully trust, who may be always near you or at a short distance, and ready to be consulted on all occasions. It was the time when you took your mother to be your friend; and (to speak freely) I loved you without common affection. I 'loved you'—no, I still do; my heart warms with you as I write. But I am usually at too great a distance, so that you cannot converse with me when you would like. I am glad, therefore, that a good Providence has given you one with whom you can more easily see and correspond. [Probably Hannah Ball.] You can certainly trust her in every situation; and she has understanding, pity, and experience. She can therefore perform those offices of friendship which I would be glad to perform if I were near you. But where you can, give me the pleasure of seeing you. You know, as long as I have a house, you'll always be welcome in it.

I wish for the Brethren's Day [Simon Day, then in the Oxfordshire Circuit. The Conference was opened that day in London.] to meet in London, on the 16th of the present present. I do not know how there can be more preaching by the itinerant preachers unless it has more preachers; which, indeed, it might easily be if their well-to-do men did not love their money more than they love their souls.

I hope that neither marriage nor business will make Neddy [Edward Bolton, her brother, whose daughter, Mrs. Marriott, delivered the letter to Miss J. Ayliff at Witney in 1861.] less zealous for God or less active in his work. Peace be upon all your spirits! "I am, my dear Nancy,

Always yours. [13]

 

More ungrateful examples of friendship

 

Now I'll give you one of the greatest, but also most ungrateful examples of friendship. Prudence (so-called) would prevent me from doing that. But love is stronger than prudence 

 

To Richard Morgan

WATERFORD, April 28, 1775.

DEAR SIR,-- Now I will give you one of the greatest, but also most ungrateful examples of friendship. Prudence (so-called) would prevent me from doing that. But love is stronger than prudence.

Great was the concern I felt in conversing with Miss Morgan. A child so spoiled to all intents and purposes that I have not seen in fifty years, either in Europe or America. I do not know what she is for. Does she regard the rebuke of father or mother? Have you not let her entertain her with all her wits, all her good nature, and even good lineage? What behaviour was that which I saw with my own eyes? What words did I hear with my own ears? No weakness, no pain could excuse it. Pain must soften, not soften our temper. And what a wife must be a woman of such a temper! What a torment she must be to any sentimental man! Happy would she be to her as well as to you if God would take her swiftly to Himself!

I couldn't help but worry about you either. You often want to be a Christian: an inward Christian, a Bible Christian, a happy man in God. What prevents you from saving more money Cui bono. Do you no longer have more of what is good for you? What, do you want me to be idle? No. I am idle But I work for eternity, for treasures in heaven, for satisfying riches. Go you and do the same!

If you receive this in love, you can benefit from it. If you show this to your wife and daughter, you will not hurt me, but you will renounce all future coitus with

Your truly affectionate servant.[14]

 

Add this to the other friendship situations that you have shown on all occasions

 

If you visit it, you will easily realize whether my fears are fair or not. And you will soon find out if anyone has made an effort to enlarge, rather than heal, this small breach. Go in the name of God and add this to the other situations of friendship that you have on every occasion shown

 

To Maria Bishop

CASTLEBAR, May 15, 1778.

MY DEAR MISS BISHOP, - When I received the last letter from Miss Flower, I was completely surprised. [See letters of November 16, 1777, and August 20, 1778.] It was a civil (say, or unkind) dispensation from continuing to write to her, and seemed to me to express all the passion that I thought she should not feel. I therefore stood on my feet, not knowing whether it was advisable to write again or not. After a pause, I thought it would not be wrong to write one more letter. I did so, writing as clearly and sincerely as possible, but in a gentle and affectionate manner. I believe this was about a month ago. Since then I have had no further call from her. Therefore, I cannot write again; it would be utterly out of character. However, I am very much concerned about her, and thought yesterday, 'What can I do next? There is no prudent and affectionate friend, for whom she still respects, and whom I would like to intervene on this delicate occasion, and, if possible, dispel this misunderstanding' You are the woman! As soon as I read her letter, I saw everything clear as day. She still loves you; and you have an affection for her. Use, therefore, the privilege of friendship. I am afraid that she will have one with her that does her no good—that, instead of striving to eliminate any prejudice, she would try to increase it, and gradually drive her away from all her friends. If you visit her, you will easily perceive whether my fears are fair or not. And you will soon find out whether anyone has taken pains to enlarge, rather than cure, this little breach. Go in the name of God and add this to the other situations of friendship which you have on every occasion shown, whether to her or to my dear Miss S. Bishop,

With affection.

To Miss Bishop. Near the Bath of the Cross, in Bath. [15]

 

It may be that this is the beginning of a lasting friendship

 

If you don't get enough attention to it, meet me tomorrow night at the New Passage, unless you can get a passage on the weekly boat to Swansea. If it's possible, don't fail. It may be that this is the beginning of a lasting friendship between you and, dear Tommy

 

HAVERFORDWEST, August 13, 1790.

DEAR TOMMY,-- I am now going to make a test of you, whether I can trust you or not. Ever since I came here, I have been very much concerned. This is the most important circuit in all Wales; but it has been vilely neglected by the Assistant, in whom, therefore, I can no longer trust. I can trust you even in so critical a case. I wish, therefore, that whoever objects, will leave at once, and come here as soon as you can. I wish you could meet me at Cardiff or Cowbridge. You will see from the printed plan when I shall be in either of these places. If you do not have enough attention to this, meet me to-morrow evening at the New Passage, unless you can get a passage by the weekly boat to Swansea. If it is possible, do not fail. It may be that this is the beginning of a lasting friendship between you and, dear Tommy,

Yours, etc. [16]

 

I wish our friendship wasn't over

 

I wish our friendship was not over.' is true; so I prevented the furious from pouncing at him at the conference.

 

For Christopher Hopper

LONDON, October 18,  1777.

MY DEAR BROTHER,-- I believe what you say about John Hilton [Benson says in October 7 (Life manuscript, i. 788): 'I wrote a very close letter to Mr. Hilton three weeks ago; but I have had no reply. I wish our friendship was not over.' See letter of August 6.] It is true; therefore I prevented the furious from throwing themselves upon him at the Conference.

There is no divine visitation that is likely to have so general an influence on sinners as an earthquake. The rich cannot protect themselves from this any more than the poor. Hence I have often thought that this would not be an unwelcome event.

I run out of false colors. Scriptural, Christian, etc., are all ambiguous words. I mean, a magazine that has written purposely to advocate Universal Redemption. Other magazines offer forty pages for sixpence; that is eighty for one shilling. [See the preceding letter.] My time is short; so I publish as much as I can at once, if perhaps I can live to finish it. All these things I have maturely weighed.

I have said several times that there are important reasons why no preacher should be a healer. Flatterers are ample on this issue. "I am

Your affectionate friend and brother. [17]

 

You should study all the ways to maintain your friendship with Sammy Wesley

 

You should study all the ways to maintain your friendship with Sammy Wesley. Both Charles and he need serious knowledge, whether men or women. You should introduce our Betsy to Sally Wesley

 

For Peard Dickinson

KEIGHLEY, April 29, 1788.

MY DEAR BROTHER, -- I really think it will be proper to publish something in the magazine about this idle Popish vanity of 'Consecrated Land.' The grounds of Bunhill Fields are full and as well consecrated as that of the churchyard of St. Luke's Church. [See letter of April 8.]

You should study all the ways to maintain your friendship with Sammy Wesley. Both Charles and he are in great need of serious acquaintance, whether they are men or women. You should introduce our Betsy to Sally Wesley. They are kindred souls, and I think they will soon meet. If I survive until the Conference, I will give her another acquaintance who will be close to her heart. Sister Showell will also be a good acquaintance to her. But let her beware of new acquaintances.

I hope you found a little house in our neighborhood. You both need a lot of prayer—Peace be upon your spirits! "I am

Your affectionate friend and brother. [18]

 

A heart susceptible to friendship

 

How happy I should be able to be of service to one whom I admire so dearly! You have a heart susceptible to friendship; and it will not be a blessing to you, a means of increasing the whole holy spirit, and perhaps of protecting you from some of the dangerous temptations that befall youth

 

To Mary Stokes

LYNN, November 9, 1771.

MY DEAR SISTER,-- How happy I should be able to be of service to one whom I admire so dearly! You have a heart susceptible to friendship; and it will not be a blessing to you, a means of increasing the whole holy spirit, and perhaps of protecting you from some of the dangerous temptations that befall youth.

I must give you some advice: (1) Keep that which God has given; Never let slip any blessing you have received. Do not care for those who say, 'You must lose it.' No; You may have more or less joy—it depends on a thousand circumstances; but you need never lose a degree of love. (2) You never will if you are a careful steward of God's manifold gifts. To him who has—that is, uses what he has—will still be given, and in greater abundance. Therefore (3) Use all your grace. Awaken the gift of God that is in you. Be zealous, be active, according to your strength. Speak for God wherever you are. But in the meantime (4) Be humble! May this whole mind be in you, that was in Christ Jesus. Pray for the whole spirit of humility, that you may still feel that you are nothing, and feel these words,

All the strength, all the majesty, all the praise,

All glory to Christ, my Lord!

I often remember some friends about ten o'clock in the morning: I must take you among them, provided you also remember me at that time. I will never find your letters too long.--My dear Molly,

With affection. [19]

 

Your freedom is the best proof of your friendship

 

You have never spoken to me with so much freedom as that which pleased me. Your freedom is the best proof of your friendship. There are not many who deal freely with me; nor, indeed, are there many whom I would desire, that you should not injure yourself without benefiting me. But I desire it of you; and doubt not, but it will benefit me, as it has done in the past.

 

To Ebenezer Blackwell

NORWICH, March 12, 1759.

DEAR SIR,-- You have satisfied me completely as to what I feared. [See the letter of March 2 and Blackwell's reply. His relations with his wife were easier for the time being.] We are now on good terms; and I am not without hope that this good understanding will continue for some time longer. I am sure it will, if He who has the hearts of all men in His hands sees fit for me.

You have never spoken to me with so much freedom as that which pleased me. Your freedom is the best proof of your friendship. There are not many who deal freely with me; nor, indeed, are there many whom I would desire, that it should not be injured without benefiting me. But I desire it of you; and doubt not, but it will benefit me, as it has been in the past. I do not know whether in all my life I have had so critical a work at hand as that in which I am now engaged. I am trying to gather together those who formerly joined and then dispersed by James Wheatley. [On November 3, 1758, Wheatley offered him the Tabernacle. Wesley preached there on December 21, and took over the tenancy on the 26th. He found on March 7 that 'the Society, formerly composed of hundreds of members, was rotten to nothing.' See the Journal, iv. 290-6, 301.] I have gathered about seventy of them, and I hope tonight to complete a hundred. But many of them have a wonderful spirit, for they have always been accustomed to teach their teachers; so I do not know how they endure any kind of discipline.

In Colchester the case is very different. About a hundred and sixty simple, upright persons are there, united among themselves, who are like little children, concerned only with the salvation of their souls. Only they are too anxious for a larger house. What we might have done last Sunday I do not know, but that, the day being mild, I went into the field and preached on St. John's Green. I see only one way—to build a spacious house; and I would have them keep an eye on a piece of land. It is true that they are poor enough; but if it be the work of God, He will provide the means.

Wishing an increase of all grace both to Mrs. Blackwell, to Mrs. Dewal and to you, I remain, dear sir, Your affectionate servant. [20]

 

I guess friendship demands that I owe

 

Some time ago, since you left, I heard a circumstance that greatly concerned me—namely, that the College or Academy in Georgia had swallowed up the Orphan House. Should I give my judgment without being asked? I think friendship demands that I should

 

To George Whitefield 

LEWISHAM, February 21, 1770.

MY DEAR BROTHER,-- Mr. Keen informed me some time ago of his safe arrival at Carolina; which, indeed, he could not doubt for a moment, notwithstanding the empty rumor of his expulsion, which was so common in London. I trust that our Lord has more work for you to do in Europe, as well as in America. And who knows, but before you return to England perhaps I shall make another visit to the New World? [See letters of February 17th and December 14th.] I have been strongly solicited by several friends of ours in New York and Philadelphia. They invoke many motives, some of which seem to carry considerable weight. And my age is no problem at all; for I bless God that my health is not nearly as good, but abundantly better in several respects than when I was twenty-five. But there are so many reasons on the other side that, as yet, I cannot determine anything; so I must wait for more in-depth light. Here I am, may the Lord make me as it seems that He is good. For the present, I must beg you to make up for my lack of service by encouraging our preachers, as you may best judge, who are still comparatively young and inexperienced, by giving them such counsel as they think fit, and, above all, by exhorting them, not only to love one another, but, if it be possible, as far as they can live in peace with all men.

Some time ago, since you left, I heard a circumstance which greatly concerned me—namely, that the College or Academy in Georgia had swallowed up the Orphan House. Shall I give my judgment without being asked? I think friendship demands that I should. Are there not, then, two points that come into consideration—a point of mercy and a point of justice? As to the former, it cannot be asked, Can there be greater charity on earth than to raise orphans? What is a college or academy compared to this? Unless you can have a college such as perhaps there is not on earth. I know the value of learning, and I am more in danger of valuing it too much than too little. But still, I cannot put the endowment to five hundred students, on the same level as saving the bodies, if not the souls also, of five hundred orphans. But let us pass from the point of mercy to that of justice. You have been given land and raised money for an Orphan House; Can you apply this to another purpose—at least, while there are still orphans in Georgia? I only touch upon it, though it is an important point, and leave it to your own consideration whether some of it may not be adequately applied to maintain the original design. By speaking thus freely on so delicate a subject, I have given you a fresh proof of the sincerity with which I am

His always affectionate friend and brother. [21]

 

She's going to need more from a faithful friend

 

If Miss Thornton will come to London, I would like you to take the first opportunity to talk to her. She will need a faithful friend more now than she has ever had in her life. I hope she will hear reasons and more reasons why she should, out of duty, adapt herself a little to the world, have a few little friendships, and not be so particular about her dress

 

To Miss March

CARMARTHEN, August 12, 1769.

Sometimes it is necessary to say, 'I will pray with the Spirit as well as with the understanding.' At other times, the understanding has little to do with it, as the soul is poured out in passive prayer. I believe we have found the answer to many prayers in the Conference, especially in the last two days. By the end, all the preachers were melted as they sang those lines to me,--

You who saved me here for so long,

A slightly longer salvage test;

Till, free from sin and fear,

I sink into a grave.

Until I'm happy to lay my body down,

The footsteps of your servant follow;

And oh, my crown of mercies

With a triumphant end!

Several scriptures show that we may pray with resignation for the life or tranquillity of a friend: it is enough that every petition be closed with, 'Not as I will, but as Thou wilt.' It is true that a believer knows the devices of Satan as many and varied. But the Apostle means more than this—namely, that those who have the anointing of the Holy One are thus able to discern his artifices whenever they occur, and to distinguish them from the influences of the good Spirit, however finely disguised they may be. To answer for ourselves is often a criticism; and we much prefer to let people think and speak as they please: but it is a cross which we must often assume; otherwise we 'walk not in charity' if we do not 'rebuke our brother'; if we 'suffer sin upon him,' 'we hate our brother deep down.'

If Miss Thornton will come to London, I would like you to take the first opportunity to talk to her. She will need a faithful friend more now than she has ever had in her life. I hope she will hear reasons and more reasons why she should, as a matter of duty, adapt herself a little to the world, have a few little friendships, and not be so exacting about her dress. Now, as you have heard all this before, and have been enabled by the grace of God to discover Satan even with the face of his angel, and to resist all his attacks firmly, you will be better able to help and confirm her if you seek her out before she is too shaken.

It surprised me a little that many who, I believe, are full of love, but do not wish to die. It seems that God does not usually grant this wish until the hour of death approaches. Perhaps for many this would be of little use. First, let them learn to live.

No doubt this rest was given 'to sustain him during his sickness.' But this is no reason why it should be withdrawn: it was certainly a degree of that rest which remains for God's people. But it may be called by this or any other name; Names are of little importance: that which you need never let go. You may live in and for Jesus; yea, and that continually, by simple faith and holy and humble love.

Let Mary Thornton leave [Miss Thornton now lived with Miss March. See Methodist Magazine, 1805, p. 37; and letter in May, 1769, also on July 6, 1770.] Be as sensible as she pleases or may be in regard to her own powerlessness and poverty. But let her not forsake that confidence which brings great reward. She has experienced the pure love of God; let no one take advantage of her being judged by fire (if need be) to persuade her to give it up. That general promise, 'In blessing will I bless you,' certainly contains all the promises, whether related to this life or the next; and all are yours! May peace be multiplied upon you! [22]

 

Friendship forces me to speak directly

 

Now that I'm speaking (perhaps for the last time), friendship compels me to speak directly. Of all the men I've talked to in London or England, I think you're the most proud, you're above all measure conceited, and full of yourself

 

For John Blunt

CITY ROAD, November 7, 1788.

BROTHER BLUNT,-- I am bound to say that you misuse me. Whether you are so great a man and I am so small, you must give me an account, in the moments declared, of those souls whom I have entrusted to you, to whom I must give an account to God.

Now that I am speaking (perhaps for the last time), friendship compels me to speak directly. Of all the men with whom I have conversed in London or England, I think you are most proud, you are above all measure conceited and full of yourself. While you are by no means equal even in sense to those whom you despise—Mr. Bradbum, Moore, and John Edwards, for instance. Their natural understanding is stronger than yours, and is also much better improved.

O humble yourself before God and man! Despise no one but yourself! Learn to say from the heart, 'Lord, I am not high-minded! I have no appearance of pride!' Then you will give as much pleasure as you have so often given pain

Your affectionate brother. [23]

 

I sincerely advise you to make friends with Mr. Dickinson

 

Whether you like it or not, I sincerely advise you to make friends with Mr. Dickinson. [Peard Dickinson.] He is a sensible and pious man, and has a fond regard for you

 

To your nephew Samuel Wesley

STROUD, March 18, 1788.

DEAR SAMMY, -- I have long ago cared much for you; but never more so than now. Now you are in a critical situation, and every hour is important. Your father, to all appearances, is trembling over the grave, ready to leave you, with all the first inexperience of youth, under his tuition. It was a time when you would have taken my advice. But now Miss Freeman has taught you another lesson! [See the letter of August 19, 1784 to him.] Alas! What a fatal step it was that I do not care one whit for one opinion or another. I care not who is the head of the Church, so long as you are a Christian! But what a grievous loss it is to you to be cut off from any pretense of this preaching, which is more calculated than any other in England to make you a true Bible Christian. O Sammy, I take it upon myself to say that if you had not neglected the opportunity of hearing your father and me preach, you would have been a different man than you are now.

But it seems that time has passed! Your father is on duty. You probably won't see him for long; and you don't know you'll see me anymore. Whether you like it or not, I sincerely advise you to make friends with Mr. Dickinson. [Peard Dickinson.] He is a sensible and pious man, and has a fond regard for you. I give you to him who can sustain you through all temptations. -- I am, dear Sammy,

Your caring uncle. [24]

 

I'm so aware of your true friendship

 

I am so aware of your true friendship here that I cannot write without crying. The words you mention were too strong; they will no longer fall out of my mouth

 

To Henry Brooke

WILLIAM STREET, [DUBLIN], 21 April 1783.

DEAR HARRY, -- Your letter has given me pleasure, and it has also suffered. It has given me pleasure because it was written in a gentle and loving spirit; and it has caused me pain because I have perceived that it has hurt you, whom I love and cherish so dearly. But I will do no more: I sincerely thank you for your kind rebuke; it is a precious balm—and, I hope, in the hands of the Great Physician, it will be a means of curing my disease. I am so conscious of your true friendship here that I cannot write without weeping. The words you mention were too strong; they will no longer fall from my mouth.

My dear Harry, don't stop praying for

Your brother[25]

 

The enemy has put on the face of an angel, and you take him as a friend

 

I fear you are on the edge of a precipice, and you do not know it. The enemy has put on the face of an angel, and you take him as a friend. Retire at once! Do not go near the tents of those dead, formal men called Quakers! Be near your class, your band, your old teachers; They have the words of eternal life!

 

To Mary Stokes

SHEFFIELD, August 10, 1772.

MY DEAR SISTER,--Having finished for now my business at Leeds, [Where the Conference met on the 4th.] I have come this far on my journey to Bristol. But I must take Haverfordwest by the way there; so I do not expect to be there till the 30th of the day. How many blessings can you receive in the meantime, provided you seek them in the good old way in which you received the Lord Jesus Christ! Then still walk in it. Beware of following new ways! Of being wise above this is written! Perhaps we shall find sweetness in the beginning; but it would be bitterness in the end. O my sister, my friend, I fear for you! I doubt you are getting out of the way. When you go into your closet, close the door, and pray to your Father who boils in secret, then it is time to groan to Him who reads the heart the unspeakable prayer. But to be silent in the congregation of His people is altogether new, and therefore utterly wrong. Never has a silent meeting been heard of in the Church of Christ for sixteen hundred years. I beg you to read with much prayer that little pamphlet A Letter to a Quaker. [See letters of February 10, 1748, and March 17, 1771 (to her).] I fear you are on the edge of a precipice, and you know it not. The enemy has put on the face of an angel, and you take him as a friend. Retire at once! Do not go near the tents of those dead, formal men called Quakers! Be near your class, your band, your old teachers; They have the words of eternal life! Have any of them offended you? Has any obstacle been placed in your way? Hide nothing from my dear Molly,

Yours with true affection.

In ten days, I hope to be in Haverfordwest.

Kind and affectionate brother. [26]

 

What I am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend

 

And sometimes you have been free and open with me; But at other times you have been more timid and distant. My Nancy, may this time of distance and reserve not come back! Be to me always (if you can) what I am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend

To Ann Bolton

BRISTOL, September 27,  1777.

Shall I not tell my dear friend all that is in my heart? I see no reason why I should not do so. I have been doing this since I first met you, and especially since you were with me in London. Then I got a more intimate acquaintance with you: I tasted your spirit. I observed all your tempers, and marked you as the 'sister of my choice.' Therefore I have looked upon you ever since, without any interval or variation. And sometimes you have been free and open with me; but at other times you have been more timid and distant. My Nancy, may this time of distance and reserve not come back! Be to me always (if you can) what I am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend.

No doubt Satan, who well understands how the mind is influenced by the body, can, by means of those parts of the animal machine which are most immediately subservient to thought, raise a thousand perceptions and emotions in the mind, so far as God permits. I doubt not, but he was the chief agent in his last and painful exercises. [See the September 15 letter to her.] And you gave him the upper hand by reasoning with him—that is, by fighting him himself with his own weapons; instead of simply looking up and saying, 'Thou shalt answer for me, O Lord my God.'

No doubt you want more gratitude. And you want more simplicity; that grace, says Cambray, 'which cuts off the soul from all unnecessary reflections upon itself.' You are enveloped by ten thousand mercies; and the greatest of all is, 'Christ in a pure and undefiled heart! Beware of admitting any doubt or reasoning about it! To which you have attained, stand firm! And use all the grace you have received. Warn all, and exhort all, especially those who groan after full salvation.

In no way can I not go a whole day without commending you to God in prayer. Thank you for writing to me so soon.

Keep loving and praying for, my dear Nancy,

With all the affection. [27]

 

I'm not a great friend of solitary Christianity

 

I am no great friend of solitary Christianity; however, in a case as peculiar as yours, I think an exception may be admitted. It seems very convenient that you should retire from Edinburgh, at least for a time, until God shall increase your strength

 

To Lady Maxwell

LONDON, August 17, 1764.

MY DEAREST MALADY,--Since I have had the pleasure of you, I have scarcely had an hour which I could call my own; otherwise I should not have taken so long to write, for I have a very fond regard for you, and a sincere desire that you should be thoroughly Christian. I cannot be content with you being so harmless or regular in your behaviour, or even exemplary in all outward respects; nay, more than all this you have ever received, for you fear God. But you must stop here, God forbid! This is only the beginning of wisdom. You must not end here: fear will ripen into love. You will know (perhaps very soon) that love of God which imparts knowledge. You will witness the kingdom of God within you, even to righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.

It is no small instance of God's goodness to you that you should be conscious of your desire, of your 'lack of divine living faith.' And His goodness here is all the more remarkable, because almost all your neighbors would set you up as a true good believer. O beware of these flatterers! Hold fast to the conviction God has given you! Faith, living, conquering, loving the faith, is doubtless what you desire. And of this you often have a taste to encourage you to go on: such is the tender mercy of him who loves you; such a desire of Him that you should receive all His precious promises! Do not think that they are far from it. Do not imagine that you have to stay a long time (years or months) before you receive them. Do not put them off a day, not an hour! Why not now? Why do you not look up now and see, as if it were possible, Jesus Christ departed, evidently placed Himself, crucified before your eyes? O listen to His voice--'Daughter, be in good humour; Your sins are forgiven you!' 'Say not in thine heart, Who shall ascend into heaven, or who shall descend into the depths of the air?' 'No; 'The word is near thee, even in thy mouth and in thy heart.' 'Lord, I believe; Help my unbelief.'

Joy in the Holy Ghost is a precious gift from God, but yet tenderness of conscience is a still greater gift; And all this is for you. Just ready, The wordless wonder that dares not move, And the whole silent heaven of love. I am no great friend of solitary Christianity; yet, in a case as peculiar as yours, I think an exception may be admitted. It seems very convenient that you should retire from Edinburgh, at least for a time, until God shall increase your strength. For the company of those who know not God, who are strangers to the religion of the heart, especially if they be sensible and agreeable people, may rather weaken the grace of God in your soul.

You cannot please me more than by telling me all that is in your heart; There is no danger of you tiring me. I myself do not usually write such long letters; but when I write to you, I am full of subject. I seem to see you right before me, a poor, frail, helpless creature, but on the edge of salvation; erect of heart (in some measure), full of real desires for God, and emerging into the light. May the Lord take you whole! So please, my dear lady, Your affectionate servant. [28]

 

Why do you forget your friends?

 

Nancy, Nancy! Why do you forget your friends? Why do you tempt me to get mad? I tell you again, you're going to lose your job: I can't be mad at you. You're wonderfully slow to write. Come, I hope you'll make me up (if you're okay) with a long letter

 

To Ann Bolton

BRISTOL, September 16, 1771.

Nancy, Nancy! Why do you forget your friends? Why do you tempt me to get angry? I tell you again, you will lose your job: I cannot be mad at you. You are wonderfully slow to write. Come, I hope you will make me amends (if you are well) with a long letter. I intend, God willing, to be at Wallingford on Monday, October 14th; at Witney on Wednesday and Thursday; at High Wycombe on Friday; and in London on Saturday. Do not delay in writing. I want to know how you are and what you are doing, as well as how God's work goes on in Witney and elsewhere. And how they continue, Brother Jaquis and his wife

Peace multiply upon you-- My dear Nancy, farewell! [29]

 

My dear friend

 

This, my dear friend, is what has made me fear for you. It reminds me of you again and again. Faith and hope are glorious gifts, as is every ray of eternity let into the soul. But still, these are only means; The end of all, and the greatest of all, is love. May the Lord now pour this into your heart as He has never done before

 

To Ann Bolton

LONDON, December 5, 1772.

MY DEAR SISTER,--I do not know that you have ever asked me a question which I did not readily answer. I have never heard anyone mention anything about you for that reason; but I myself felt jealous of you. [See letter of November 28.] Perhaps I will find fault with you which others do not; for I watch you on every side. I mark your every move and temper, because I long for you to be without blemishes or blemishes.

What I saw in London prompted the first warning I gave you. George Bell, William Green, [See Diary, iii. 265, iv. 94; C. Wesley's Journal, i. 429; and letter of November 26, 1762, section I. 6, to Bishop Warburton.] and many others, then full of love, were graced with extraordinary revelations and manifestations of God. But by this Satan deceived them with the simplicity that is in Christ. By insensible degrees they were led to value these extraordinary gifts more than the common grace of God; and I could not convince them that one grain of humble love was better than all these gifts put together. This, my dear friend, was what made me fear for you. It reminds me of you again and again. Faith and hope are glorious gifts, as is every ray of eternity let into the soul. But still, these are only means; The end of it all, and the greatest of all, is love. May the Lord now pour it into your heart as He never did before.

By all means, spend an hour every other day in the work of love, even if you cannot help them as you would. By entrusting you to the One who can make you perfect in every good word and work, I am

With affection.[30]

 

But I couldn't leave my friend

 

I would then have walked if I had been alone, though the mud was deep and the snow fell impetuously; but I could not leave my friend. So I waited patiently until the man moved to mend the tracks

 

It was on Wednesday, March 31, 1762, that Wesley said, "Having been invited to preach at Wem, Mrs. Glynne wished she could take me there in a carriage; but in little more than an hour we were fast enough; yet the horses pulled till the tie rods broke. I would then have walked if I had been alone, though the mud was deep and the snow fell impetuously; but I could not leave my friend. So I waited patiently until the man stirred to mend the tracks; and the horses pulled the horses so that, with much noise, not long after the appointed time, I came to Wem." [31]

 

I advise you to make it a sincere prayer; and surely God will give you a friend

 

I wonder you do not find a person who knows how to sympathize with you. Surely there must be such a one in the Witney Society; though you have not yet met them, perhaps for want of prayer for it. I advise you to make it a sincere prayer; and surely God will give you a friend

 

To Ann Bolton

EPWORTH, June 28, 1784.

MY DEAR NANCY, - The strong and tender affection I have for you makes your letters always welcome. Providence has seen the good of testing you for many years in the furnace of affliction, but all will work together for your good. You will lose nothing but your filth. I wonder you do not find a person who knows how to sympathize with you. Surely there must be such a one in the Witney Society; though I have not yet met them, perhaps for want of prayer for it. I advise you to make it a sincere prayer; and surely God will give you a friend. Accommodability is only the art of becoming all things to all men without hurting our own conscience. St. Paul commands in these words: 'Give thanks to all men for the sake of their edification.' Basic rules will hardly teach us how to do this. But those who have a single eye can reach it, by the grace of God, through reflection and experience. - I am, my dear Nancy,

Very affectionately yours.

To Miss Bolton. Near Witney,

Oxfordshire. [32]

 

Our relationship with a dear friend

 

With our relationship with a dear friend, God is often pleased to enlighten our understanding. But this is only the second point: warming the heart is a blessing greater than the light itself. And this effect I often find in your letters

 

To Peggy Dale,

LONDON, November 6, 1765.

MY DEAR SISTER,-- With our relationship with a dear friend, God is often pleased to enlighten our understanding. But this is only the second point: warming the heart is a blessing greater than the light itself. And this effect I often find in your letters. May the Lord repay seven times in your own bosom! You still remain in the persuasion that you will not live beyond the age of twenty-three [See letter of December 31. She died at the age of thirty-three.] Do you remember when or how it began? Is it still the same, whether your health is worse or better? What mercy is it that death has lost its sting! Will it prevent any real or substantial happiness? Will it prevent us from loving one another? Can the interposed tide of Death Spirits one in Christ divide? Certainly not! All that comes from Him is eternal like Himself. --My dear sister, farewell! To Miss Helena Sánchez. Dale, at the Orphans' House, Newcastle-upon-Tyne. [33]

 

You have affectionate, wise, and godly friends

 

But, blessed be God, you have all the advantages that can well be conceived. You have affectionate, wise, and godly friends, deeply experienced in the way of God. You have leisure and opportunity for every good work, and for improvement in all holiness

 

To Peggy Dale

[NEWMARKET], May 20, 1769.

To hear my dear Peggy at this critical moment brings me special satisfaction. I wanted to know how you endured such a trial, a wound in the most sensitive part. Now you have the first proof that the God whom you serve can deliver you in every trial. You feel, and yet you conquer. We have conquered everything when we can say, 'Not as I will, but as you will.' I hope you will be delivered not only from suffering for her, but from reasoning about yourself. You still see the best form and are conscious of the advantages you enjoy. I allow some unmarried women to have fewer advantages for eternity than they could have in a married state. But, blessed be God, you have all the advantages that can well be conceived. You have affectionate, wise, and godly friends, deeply experienced in the way of God. You have leisure and opportunity for every good work and for improvement in all holiness. May you improve every advantage to the utmost! And give more and more comfort to, my dear Peggy,

His brother always affectionate. [34]

 

I would be happy to have the opportunity to see my friends

 

You send me a pleasant account of God's work on the island. If He acts, who will stay His hand, I should be glad to have the opportunity to see my friends who are with you once more; but I cannot reasonably expect it.

 

To George Holder

DUBLIN, June 24, 1789.

DEAR GEORGE,-- You send me a pleasing account of God's work in the island. If He acts, who will stay His hand, I should be glad to have an opportunity to see my friends who are with you once more; but I cannot reasonably expect it. On my last voyage the sea has affected me more than ever in my life; that I may perceive that my travels are drawing to a close. Brother Smith can take all the accounts to the Conference, and will be assigned to England the following year. -- I am, dear George,

Your friend. [35]

 

But you don't take these as your true friends who say what they think is wrong

 

But you 'don't take these as your true friends who say what they think is wrong.' Don't I accept Sally Ryan and Mary Bosanquet as my real friends? And certainly they told me more about this kind than they did to everyone else

 

For Ms. Ryan

WEDNESBURY, March 25, 1764.

MY DEAR SISTER,--I am glad that you have written and that you write so freely. It needs no reservations between you and me. It is very easy for you to judge by what you have heard. Who are they who 'always praise me' (i.e. to my face)? I really know nothing of it. They say you must do it. But I think you are free from accusation. Sure of it, then, I cling to none for it. For I know not men.

But you 'don't take those as your true friends who say what they think is wrong.' Don't I accept Sally Ryan and Mary Bosanquet as my real friends? And certainly they told me more about that kind of thing than they did to everyone else.

Now you find an unbroken communion with God He is in all your thoughts In what sense you pray always and in everything You give thanks You are always happy Your will is wholly subject to God's will You feel no repulsion to any of His dispensations Keep praying for, my dear sister, Your loving brother. [36]

Affectionate friend and brother.

 

You prejudice my close friends against me

 

By telling stories, you separate your top friends. You prejudice my close friends against me. I didn't deserve this from you. Leave me alone. I act to the best of my judgment

 

For Arthur Keene

PORTARLINGTON, April 23, 1789.

MY DEAR ARTHUR, -- I will not, dare no longer draw the saw of controversy; especially with James Deaves, [See letters of August 2, 1788 (to Mrs. Ward) and May 20.] who will dispute through a stone wall.

In God's name, I've done it! You can't do anything good by objecting. But you do a lot of harm. You've hurt your own spirit. You hurt others. You light a flame. You dampen and hinder God's work. By telling stories, you separate your top friends. You prejudice my close friends against me. I didn't deserve it from you. Leave me alone. I act to the best of my judgment. Speaking once, you did well. But it's no good for me to worry like that. I'd like James Deaves to mind his own business. If he wants to resign me, let him do it quietly. If you personally have something to say to me, that's fine! But I have nothing more to say to him—namely, James Deaves behind the curtain. No one but him could uproot you

Your old and affectionate brother. [37]

 

We received sweet counsel together and walked to God's house as friends

 

We received sweet counsel together and walked to the house of God as friends. Suddenly you renounced all contact with me, because, you said, I had left the Church

 

For Arthur Keene

 April 28, 1790

 -- Many years you and I loved each other as brothers. We were united by no common tie. We received sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God as friends. Suddenly you renounced all contact with me, because, you said, I had left the Church. Alas! What a cause! Could it be that friends like me were discarded for such a reason as this? (...)”.

"May the peace of God be with you and yours! I no longer depend on seeing you until we meet in the world of spirits.

Dear Arthur, goodbye!". [38]

 

 

 



[1] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1777/

[2] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1769/

[3] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1774/

[4] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1771/

[5] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1774/

[6] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1770/

[7] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1776/

[8] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1785/

[9] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1759/

[10] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1783/

[11] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1774/

[12] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1776/

[13] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1785/

[14] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1775/

[15] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1778/

[16]https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1790/

[17] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1777/

[18] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1788/

[19] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1771/

[20] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1759/

[21] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1770/

[22] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1769/  

[23] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1788/

[24] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1788/

[25] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1783/

[26] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1782/

[27] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1777/

[28] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1764/  

[29] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1771/

[30] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1772/

[31] https://www.ccel.org/w/wesley/journal/cache/journal.pdf

[32] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1784/

[33] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1765/

[34] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1769/

[35] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1789/

[36] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1764/

[37] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1789/

[38] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1790/

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