Wesley,
the faithful and affectionate friend
Odilon
Massolar Chaves
Copyright
© 2026, Odilon Massolar Chaves
All rights
reserved to the author.
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184 of the Penal Code and Law 96710 of February 19, 1998.
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https://www.facebook.com/groups/graceforallcoalitionph/posts/584999059622885/
Odilon
Massolar Chaves is a retired Methodist pastor, with a doctorate in Theology and
History from the Methodist University of São Paulo.
Son of
Rev. Adherico Ribeiro Chaves and Roza Massolar Chaves.
He is
married to RoseMary.
He has two
daughters: Liliana and Luciana.
His thesis
dealt with the Methodist revival in England in the eighteenth century and its
contribution as a paradigm for our days.
"Friendship
is a kind of love; and it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal
love between two people. Perverse people seem, it seems, incapable of
friendship"
(Wesley)
Table of
Contents
· Introduction
· Friendship is a kind of love
· Was recommended by someone you were friends
with
· It can therefore perform those offices of
friendship
· More ungrateful examples of friendship
· Add this to the other friendship situations
that you have shown on all occasions
· It may be that this is the beginning of a
lasting friendship
· I wish our friendship wasn't over
· You should study all the ways to maintain
your friendship with Sammy Wesley
· A heart susceptible to friendship
· Your freedom is the best proof of your
friendship
·
I guess
friendship demands that I owe
·
She's
going to need more from a faithful friend
·
Friendship
forces me to speak directly
·
I
sincerely advise you to make friends with Mr. Dickinson
·
I'm so
aware of your true friendship
·
The
enemy has put on the face of an angel, and you take him as a friend
·
What I
am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend
·
I'm not
a great friend of solitary Christianity
·
Why do
you forget your friends?
· My dear
friend
·
But I couldn't
leave my friend
·
I advise
you to make it a sincere prayer; and surely God will give you a friend
·
Our
relationship with a dear friend
·
You have
affectionate, wise, and godly friends
·
I would
be happy to have the opportunity to see my friends
·
You
prejudice my close friends against me
·
We
received sweet counsel together and walked to God's house as friends
Introduction
"Wesley,
the Faithful and Loving Friend" is a 43-page book based especially on
Wesley's letters.
To Ann
Bolton, on September 27, 1777, Wesley said, "And sometimes you have been
free and open with me; but at other times you have been more timid and distant.
My Nancy, may this time of distance and reserve not come back! Be to me always
(if you can) what I am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend." [1]
Wesley
had friendships with Christian men and women. Wesley sought and encouraged
friendship because, for him, Christianity was not a solitary religion.
But the best friendship was with "affectionate, wise, and pious
friends, deeply experienced in the way of God." [2] So he said to Peggy Dale on May 20, 1769.
To Miss
March, on June 17, 1774, Wesley said, "Friendship is a kind of love; and
it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal love between two
persons."[3] An
unbeliever cannot have such friendship.
Wesley was by nature a friend and liked to
make friends. To Joseph Benson, Wesley always ended the letter by saying,
"Your affectionate friend and brother."
Wesley even wrote, on July 10, 1771, a letter
"To Various Preachers and Friends". [4]
To others, Wesley ended the letter by saying,
"I am your affectionate friend and brother." [5]
An example of Wesley's great friendship was
with George Whitefield, although they had different doctrinal positions (see
cover). In 1770, Wesley ends a letter by saying to Whitefield: "Your
friend and brother always affectionate". [6]
About
the marks of a friendship, Wesley said to Elizabeth Ritchie, on September 20,
1776: "(...) someone with whom you had friendship, who you knew to be
upright and sincere, and who had both good sense and pleasant treatment". [7]
Wesley even speaks of "offices of friendship." Writing to Ann Bolton on July 8, 1785, he said, "She may therefore perform those offices of friendship which I would rejoice to perform if I were near you." [8]
Friendship implies having
the freedom to be frank and sincere. To Ebenezer Blackwell, March 12,
1759, Wesley said, "You never spoke to me with
so much freedom as I pleased. Your freedom is the best proof of your
friendship." [9]
A
true friendship has an impact because the heart is trusting and open to the
friend. To Henry Brooke, who wrote him a letter in a "gentle and loving
spirit," Wesley wrote on April 21, 1783, "I am so conscious of your
true friendship here that I cannot write without weeping. The words you mention
were too strong; they will no longer fall out of my mouth." [10]
Wesley was the ultimate leader of Methodism and yet he was a friend and friendship with simple people.
The Author
Friendship is a kind of love
Friendship is a kind of
love; and it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal love between
two people. Perverse people seem, it seems, incapable of friendship
To Miss
March
SUNDERLAND, June 17, 1774.
I am
glad you think of me when you do not see me; I almost feared it would be
different. Air and exercise you must have; and if you use constant exercise
with an exact regimen, it is not improbable that you will be in vigorous health
if you live to be thirty or four. About this time the constitution of both men
and women often takes a complete turn. At present you are in your place, and
need not worry about the next day.
Praying
so much for those we love is undoubtedly the fruit of affection, but an
affection that is well pleasing to God, and is wrought in us by His own Spirit.
It is therefore certain that the intercession which arises from this affection
is according to the will of God.
That is
an exceedingly good question. 'How far can we desire the approval of good men'
I do not think it can be proved that such a desire is forbidden anywhere in the
Scriptures. But it requires a very strong influence of the Holy Spirit to
prevent it from becoming excessive.
Friendship
is a kind of love; and it is, in its proper sense, a disinterested reciprocal
love between two persons. Wicked persons seem, it seems, incapable of
friendship. For 'he that feareth not God may love friend.' Nor, indeed, is
every one that fears God capable of friendship. It requires a peculiar approach
of the mind, without which it cannot exist. The properties of Christian
friendship are the same as the properties of love; with those which St. Paul so
beautifully describes in the 13th chapter of the First Epistle to the
Corinthians. And it produces, as occasions offer, every good word and deed.
Many have laid down the rules by which it is to be regulated; but they are not
to be composed in a few lines. One is, 'Commit all to your friend except a good
conscience toward God.'
No doubt
there were cases of true friendship between Jews, yea, and between heathen, who
were susceptible of it: but by no means were they wicked men; they were men
fearing God, and acting justly according to the administration under which they
were. I regard wicked men, under any disposition, absolutely incapable of true
friendship. By wicked men I mean openly profane men, or men devoid of justice,
mercy, and truth. There may be a shadow of friendship between them, whether of
the same sex or of different sexes. But surely the substance is wanting; in all
my experience I have found no exception to this rule.
After an
acquaintance of thirty-four years, I myself cannot have liberty with Miss
Johnson. But I do not know, but you can. In many respects she judges sincerely,
though her natural understanding is not strong. That of Miss Newman is: the
more you know her, the more you will try her spirit. The others you mentioned
want a little more age and experience; so they can make companions for you. [11]
Was recommended by someone you were friends with
He was especially able to make an impression on you, for he was
recommended by one with whom you were friendly, whom you knew to be upright and
sincere, and who had both good judgment and pleasant treatment. At the same
time, this subtle enemy—who deceived Eve with his subtlety—would not fail to
reinforce the temptation
To Elizabeth Ritchie
PUBLOW, September 20, 1776.
MY DEAR BETSY,-- Some time ago you certainly
ran the risk of exchanging the simple religion of the Bible for the refined
religion of Mysticism, a danger which few can judge except those who feel it.
My brother and I have done this for several years. This scheme, especially as
Madame Guyon has polished and improved it, gives a delicate satisfaction to any
curiosity and self-esteem that is hidden in the heart. It was especially
capable of making an impression on you, for it was recommended by one with whom
you were acquainted, whom you knew to be upright and sincere, and who had both
good sense and pleasant treatment. At the same time, that subtle enemy—who
deceived Eve by his subtlety—would not fail to reinforce the temptation. The
more reason you have to bless God, you are freed from the trap of the hunter.
'He that followeth Me,' says our Lord,
'walketh not in darkness.' Nothing can be more certain. Follow Him closely, and
you will never again fall into any darkness of soul. On the contrary, your
light will shine brighter and brighter till the perfect day. Nothing but sin
can confound you; and this, I trust, God has marked under your feet. Surely,
then, you need not lose even the least part of what God has given you. But you
can 'stand firm in glorious liberty' until your spirit returns to God.--I
remain
With affection. [12]
It can therefore perform those offices of friendship
I am glad, therefore, that a good Providence has given
you one with whom you can more easily see and correspond. [Probably Hannah
Ball.] You can certainly trust her in every situation; and she has
understanding, pity, and experience. She can therefore perform those offices of
friendship which I would rejoice to perform if I were near you.
To Ann
Bolton
DUBLIN,
July 8, 1785.
MY DEAR NANCY, - It
is doubtless convenient for you to have a friend whom you can fully trust, who
may be always near you or at a short distance, and ready to be consulted on all
occasions. It was the time when you took your mother to be your friend; and (to
speak freely) I loved you without common affection. I 'loved you'—no, I still
do; my heart warms with you as I write. But I am usually at too great a
distance, so that you cannot converse with me when you would like. I am glad,
therefore, that a good Providence has given you one with whom you can more
easily see and correspond. [Probably Hannah Ball.] You can certainly trust her
in every situation; and she has understanding, pity, and experience. She can
therefore perform those offices of friendship which I would be glad to perform
if I were near you. But where you can, give me the pleasure of seeing you. You
know, as long as I have a house, you'll always be welcome in it.
I wish for the
Brethren's Day [Simon Day, then in the Oxfordshire Circuit. The Conference was
opened that day in London.] to meet in London, on the 16th of the present
present. I do not know how there can be more preaching by the itinerant
preachers unless it has more preachers; which, indeed, it might easily be if
their well-to-do men did not love their money more than they love their souls.
I hope that neither
marriage nor business will make Neddy [Edward Bolton, her brother, whose
daughter, Mrs. Marriott, delivered the letter to Miss J. Ayliff at Witney in
1861.] less zealous for God or less active in his work. Peace be upon all your
spirits! "I am, my dear Nancy,
Always yours. [13]
More ungrateful examples of friendship
Now I'll give you one of the greatest, but also most ungrateful examples of friendship. Prudence (so-called) would prevent me from doing that. But love is stronger than prudence
To
Richard Morgan
WATERFORD,
April 28, 1775.
DEAR
SIR,-- Now I will give you one of the greatest, but also most ungrateful
examples of friendship. Prudence (so-called) would prevent me from doing that.
But love is stronger than prudence.
Great
was the concern I felt in conversing with Miss Morgan. A child so spoiled to
all intents and purposes that I have not seen in fifty years, either in Europe
or America. I do not know what she is for. Does she regard the rebuke of father
or mother? Have you not let her entertain her with all her wits, all her good
nature, and even good lineage? What behaviour was that which I saw with my own
eyes? What words did I hear with my own ears? No weakness, no pain could excuse
it. Pain must soften, not soften our temper. And what a wife must be a woman of
such a temper! What a torment she must be to any sentimental man! Happy would
she be to her as well as to you if God would take her swiftly to Himself!
I
couldn't help but worry about you either. You often want to be a Christian: an
inward Christian, a Bible Christian, a happy man in God. What prevents you from
saving more money Cui bono. Do you no longer have more of what is good for you?
What, do you want me to be idle? No. I am idle But I work for eternity, for
treasures in heaven, for satisfying riches. Go you and do the same!
If
you receive this in love, you can benefit from it. If you show this to your
wife and daughter, you will not hurt me, but you will renounce all future
coitus with
Your
truly affectionate servant.[14]
Add this to the other friendship situations
that you have shown on all occasions
If you visit it, you will
easily realize whether my fears are fair or not. And you will soon find out if
anyone has made an effort to enlarge, rather than heal, this small breach. Go
in the name of God and add this to the other situations of friendship that you
have on every occasion shown
To Maria Bishop
CASTLEBAR, May 15, 1778.
MY DEAR MISS BISHOP, - When
I received the last letter from Miss Flower, I was completely surprised. [See
letters of November 16, 1777, and August 20, 1778.] It was a civil (say, or
unkind) dispensation from continuing to write to her, and seemed to me to
express all the passion that I thought she should not feel. I therefore stood
on my feet, not knowing whether it was advisable to write again or not. After a
pause, I thought it would not be wrong to write one more letter. I did so,
writing as clearly and sincerely as possible, but in a gentle and affectionate
manner. I believe this was about a month ago. Since then I have had no further
call from her. Therefore, I cannot write again; it would be utterly out of
character. However, I am very much concerned about her, and thought yesterday,
'What can I do next? There is no prudent and affectionate friend, for whom she
still respects, and whom I would like to intervene on this delicate occasion,
and, if possible, dispel this misunderstanding' You are the woman! As soon as I
read her letter, I saw everything clear as day. She still loves you; and you
have an affection for her. Use, therefore, the privilege of friendship. I am
afraid that she will have one with her that does her no good—that, instead of
striving to eliminate any prejudice, she would try to increase it, and
gradually drive her away from all her friends. If you visit her, you will
easily perceive whether my fears are fair or not. And you will soon find out
whether anyone has taken pains to enlarge, rather than cure, this little
breach. Go in the name of God and add this to the other situations of
friendship which you have on every occasion shown, whether to her or to my dear
Miss S. Bishop,
With affection.
To Miss Bishop. Near the
Bath of the Cross, in Bath. [15]
It may be that this is the
beginning of a lasting friendship
If you don't get enough
attention to it, meet me tomorrow night at the New Passage, unless you can get
a passage on the weekly boat to Swansea. If it's possible, don't fail. It may
be that this is the beginning of a lasting friendship between you and, dear
Tommy
HAVERFORDWEST, August 13,
1790.
DEAR TOMMY,-- I am now
going to make a test of you, whether I can trust you or not. Ever since I came
here, I have been very much concerned. This is the most important circuit in
all Wales; but it has been vilely neglected by the Assistant, in whom, therefore,
I can no longer trust. I can trust you even in so critical a case. I wish,
therefore, that whoever objects, will leave at once, and come here as soon as
you can. I wish you could meet me at Cardiff or Cowbridge. You will see from
the printed plan when I shall be in either of these places. If you do not have
enough attention to this, meet me to-morrow evening at the New Passage, unless
you can get a passage by the weekly boat to Swansea. If it is possible, do not
fail. It may be that this is the beginning of a lasting friendship between you
and, dear Tommy,
Yours, etc. [16]
I wish our friendship
wasn't over
I wish our friendship was
not over.' is true; so I prevented the furious from pouncing at him at the conference.
For Christopher Hopper
LONDON, October 18, 1777.
MY DEAR BROTHER,-- I
believe what you say about John Hilton [Benson says in October 7 (Life
manuscript, i. 788): 'I wrote a very close letter to Mr. Hilton three weeks
ago; but I have had no reply. I wish our friendship was not over.' See letter
of August 6.] It is true; therefore I prevented the furious from throwing
themselves upon him at the Conference.
There is no divine
visitation that is likely to have so general an influence on sinners as an
earthquake. The rich cannot protect themselves from this any more than the
poor. Hence I have often thought that this would not be an unwelcome event.
I run out of false colors.
Scriptural, Christian, etc., are all ambiguous words. I mean, a magazine that
has written purposely to advocate Universal Redemption. Other magazines offer
forty pages for sixpence; that is eighty for one shilling. [See the preceding
letter.] My time is short; so I publish as much as I can at once, if perhaps I
can live to finish it. All these things I have maturely weighed.
I have said several times
that there are important reasons why no preacher should be a healer. Flatterers
are ample on this issue. "I am
Your affectionate friend
and brother. [17]
You should study all the
ways to maintain your friendship with Sammy Wesley
For
Peard Dickinson
KEIGHLEY, April 29, 1788.
MY DEAR BROTHER, -- I
really think it will be proper to publish something in the magazine about this
idle Popish vanity of 'Consecrated Land.' The grounds of Bunhill Fields are
full and as well consecrated as that of the churchyard of St. Luke's Church. [See
letter of April 8.]
You should study all the
ways to maintain your friendship with Sammy Wesley. Both Charles and he are in
great need of serious acquaintance, whether they are men or women. You should
introduce our Betsy to Sally Wesley. They are kindred souls, and I think they
will soon meet. If I survive until the Conference, I will give her another
acquaintance who will be close to her heart. Sister Showell will also be a good
acquaintance to her. But let her beware of new acquaintances.
I hope you found a little
house in our neighborhood. You both need a lot of prayer—Peace be upon your
spirits! "I am
Your affectionate friend
and brother. [18]
A heart susceptible to
friendship
How happy I should be able
to be of service to one whom I admire so dearly! You have a heart susceptible
to friendship; and it will not be a blessing to you, a means of increasing the
whole holy spirit, and perhaps of protecting you from some of the dangerous
temptations that befall youth
To Mary Stokes
LYNN, November 9, 1771.
MY DEAR SISTER,-- How happy
I should be able to be of service to one whom I admire so dearly! You have a
heart susceptible to friendship; and it will not be a blessing to you, a means
of increasing the whole holy spirit, and perhaps of protecting you from some of
the dangerous temptations that befall youth.
I must give you some
advice: (1) Keep that which God has given; Never let slip any blessing you have
received. Do not care for those who say, 'You must lose it.' No; You may have
more or less joy—it depends on a thousand circumstances; but you need never
lose a degree of love. (2) You never will if you are a careful steward of God's
manifold gifts. To him who has—that is, uses what he has—will still be given,
and in greater abundance. Therefore (3) Use all your grace. Awaken the gift of
God that is in you. Be zealous, be active, according to your strength. Speak
for God wherever you are. But in the meantime (4) Be humble! May this whole
mind be in you, that was in Christ Jesus. Pray for the whole spirit of
humility, that you may still feel that you are nothing, and feel these words,
All the strength, all the
majesty, all the praise,
All glory to Christ, my
Lord!
I often remember some
friends about ten o'clock in the morning: I must take you among them, provided
you also remember me at that time. I will never find your letters too long.--My
dear Molly,
With affection. [19]
Your freedom is the best proof of your friendship
To
Ebenezer Blackwell
NORWICH,
March 12, 1759.
DEAR SIR,-- You have
satisfied me completely as to what I feared. [See the letter of March 2 and
Blackwell's reply. His relations with his wife were easier for the time being.]
We are now on good terms; and I am not without hope that this good understanding
will continue for some time longer. I am sure it will, if He who has the hearts
of all men in His hands sees fit for me.
You have never spoken
to me with so much freedom as that which pleased me. Your freedom is the best
proof of your friendship. There are not many who deal freely with me; nor,
indeed, are there many whom I would desire, that it should not be injured without
benefiting me. But I desire it of you; and doubt not, but it will benefit me,
as it has been in the past. I do not know whether in all my life I have had so
critical a work at hand as that in which I am now engaged. I am trying to
gather together those who formerly joined and then dispersed by James Wheatley.
[On November 3, 1758, Wheatley offered him the Tabernacle. Wesley preached
there on December 21, and took over the tenancy on the 26th. He found on March
7 that 'the Society, formerly composed of hundreds of members, was rotten to
nothing.' See the Journal, iv. 290-6, 301.] I have gathered about seventy of
them, and I hope tonight to complete a hundred. But many of them have a
wonderful spirit, for they have always been accustomed to teach their teachers;
so I do not know how they endure any kind of discipline.
In Colchester the
case is very different. About a hundred and sixty simple, upright persons are
there, united among themselves, who are like little children, concerned only
with the salvation of their souls. Only they are too anxious for a larger
house. What we might have done last Sunday I do not know, but that, the day
being mild, I went into the field and preached on St. John's Green. I see only
one way—to build a spacious house; and I would have them keep an eye on a piece
of land. It is true that they are poor enough; but if it be the work of God, He
will provide the means.
Wishing an increase
of all grace both to Mrs. Blackwell, to Mrs. Dewal and to you, I remain, dear
sir, Your affectionate servant. [20]
I guess friendship demands that I owe
Some time ago, since you left, I heard a
circumstance that greatly concerned me—namely, that the College or Academy in
Georgia had swallowed up the Orphan House. Should I give my judgment without
being asked? I think friendship demands that I should
To George Whitefield
LEWISHAM, February 21,
1770.
MY DEAR BROTHER,-- Mr. Keen
informed me some time ago of his safe arrival at Carolina; which, indeed, he
could not doubt for a moment, notwithstanding the empty rumor of his expulsion,
which was so common in London. I trust that our Lord has more work for you to
do in Europe, as well as in America. And who knows, but before you return to
England perhaps I shall make another visit to the New World? [See letters of
February 17th and December 14th.] I have been strongly solicited by several
friends of ours in New York and Philadelphia. They invoke many motives, some of
which seem to carry considerable weight. And my age is no problem at all; for I
bless God that my health is not nearly as good, but abundantly better in
several respects than when I was twenty-five. But there are so many reasons on
the other side that, as yet, I cannot determine anything; so I must wait for
more in-depth light. Here I am, may the Lord make me as it seems that He is
good. For the present, I must beg you to make up for my lack of service by
encouraging our preachers, as you may best judge, who are still comparatively
young and inexperienced, by giving them such counsel as they think fit, and,
above all, by exhorting them, not only to love one another, but, if it be
possible, as far as they can live in peace with all men.
Some time ago, since you
left, I heard a circumstance which greatly concerned me—namely, that the
College or Academy in Georgia had swallowed up the Orphan House. Shall I give
my judgment without being asked? I think friendship demands that I should. Are
there not, then, two points that come into consideration—a point of mercy and a
point of justice? As to the former, it cannot be asked, Can there be greater
charity on earth than to raise orphans? What is a college or academy compared
to this? Unless you can have a college such as perhaps there is not on earth. I
know the value of learning, and I am more in danger of valuing it too much than
too little. But still, I cannot put the endowment to five hundred students, on
the same level as saving the bodies, if not the souls also, of five hundred
orphans. But let us pass from the point of mercy to that of justice. You have
been given land and raised money for an Orphan House; Can you apply this to
another purpose—at least, while there are still orphans in Georgia? I only
touch upon it, though it is an important point, and leave it to your own
consideration whether some of it may not be adequately applied to maintain the
original design. By speaking thus freely on so delicate a subject, I have given
you a fresh proof of the sincerity with which I am
His always affectionate
friend and brother. [21]
She's going to need more from a faithful friend
If Miss Thornton will come to London, I would like you
to take the first opportunity to talk to her. She will need a faithful friend
more now than she has ever had in her life. I hope she will hear reasons and
more reasons why she should, out of duty, adapt herself a little to the world,
have a few little friendships, and not be so particular about her dress
To Miss March
CARMARTHEN, August
12, 1769.
Sometimes it is
necessary to say, 'I will pray with the Spirit as well as with the
understanding.' At other times, the understanding has little to do with it, as
the soul is poured out in passive prayer. I believe we have found the answer to
many prayers in the Conference, especially in the last two days. By the end,
all the preachers were melted as they sang those lines to me,--
You who saved me here
for so long,
A slightly longer
salvage test;
Till, free from sin
and fear,
I sink into a grave.
Until I'm happy to
lay my body down,
The footsteps of your
servant follow;
And oh, my crown of
mercies
With a triumphant
end!
Several scriptures
show that we may pray with resignation for the life or tranquillity of a
friend: it is enough that every petition be closed with, 'Not as I will, but as
Thou wilt.' It is true that a believer knows the devices of Satan as many and
varied. But the Apostle means more than this—namely, that those who have the
anointing of the Holy One are thus able to discern his artifices whenever they
occur, and to distinguish them from the influences of the good Spirit, however
finely disguised they may be. To answer for ourselves is often a criticism; and
we much prefer to let people think and speak as they please: but it is a cross
which we must often assume; otherwise we 'walk not in charity' if we do not
'rebuke our brother'; if we 'suffer sin upon him,' 'we hate our brother deep
down.'
If Miss Thornton will
come to London, I would like you to take the first opportunity to talk to her.
She will need a faithful friend more now than she has ever had in her life. I
hope she will hear reasons and more reasons why she should, as a matter of duty,
adapt herself a little to the world, have a few little friendships, and not be
so exacting about her dress. Now, as you have heard all this before, and have
been enabled by the grace of God to discover Satan even with the face of his
angel, and to resist all his attacks firmly, you will be better able to help
and confirm her if you seek her out before she is too shaken.
It surprised me a
little that many who, I believe, are full of love, but do not wish to die. It
seems that God does not usually grant this wish until the hour of death
approaches. Perhaps for many this would be of little use. First, let them learn
to live.
No doubt this rest
was given 'to sustain him during his sickness.' But this is no reason why it
should be withdrawn: it was certainly a degree of that rest which remains for
God's people. But it may be called by this or any other name; Names are of
little importance: that which you need never let go. You may live in and for
Jesus; yea, and that continually, by simple faith and holy and humble love.
Let Mary Thornton
leave [Miss Thornton now lived with Miss March. See Methodist Magazine, 1805,
p. 37; and letter in May, 1769, also on July 6, 1770.] Be as sensible as she
pleases or may be in regard to her own powerlessness and poverty. But let her
not forsake that confidence which brings great reward. She has experienced the
pure love of God; let no one take advantage of her being judged by fire (if
need be) to persuade her to give it up. That general promise, 'In blessing will
I bless you,' certainly contains all the promises, whether related to this life
or the next; and all are yours! May peace be multiplied upon you! [22]
Friendship forces me to speak directly
Now that I'm speaking (perhaps for the last
time), friendship compels me to speak directly. Of all the men I've talked to
in London or England, I think you're the most proud, you're above all measure
conceited, and full of yourself
For
John Blunt
CITY ROAD, November 7,
1788.
BROTHER BLUNT,-- I am bound
to say that you misuse me. Whether you are so great a man and I am so small,
you must give me an account, in the moments declared, of those souls whom I
have entrusted to you, to whom I must give an account to God.
Now that I am speaking
(perhaps for the last time), friendship compels me to speak directly. Of all
the men with whom I have conversed in London or England, I think you are most
proud, you are above all measure conceited and full of yourself. While you are
by no means equal even in sense to those whom you despise—Mr. Bradbum, Moore, and John
Edwards, for instance. Their natural understanding
is stronger than yours, and is also much better improved.
O humble yourself before
God and man! Despise no one but yourself! Learn to say from the heart, 'Lord, I
am not high-minded! I have no appearance of pride!' Then you will give as much
pleasure as you have so often given pain
Your affectionate brother. [23]
I sincerely advise you to
make friends with Mr. Dickinson
Whether you like it or not,
I sincerely advise you to make friends with Mr. Dickinson. [Peard Dickinson.]
He is a sensible and pious man, and has a fond regard for you
To
your nephew Samuel Wesley
STROUD, March 18, 1788.
DEAR SAMMY, -- I have long
ago cared much for you; but never more so than now. Now you are in a critical
situation, and every hour is important. Your father, to all appearances, is
trembling over the grave, ready to leave you, with all the first inexperience
of youth, under his tuition. It was a time when you would have taken my advice.
But now Miss Freeman has taught you another lesson! [See the letter of August
19, 1784 to him.] Alas! What a fatal step it was that I do not care one whit
for one opinion or another. I care not who is the head of the Church, so long
as you are a Christian! But what a grievous loss it is to you to be cut off
from any pretense of this preaching, which is more calculated than any other in
England to make you a true Bible Christian. O Sammy, I take it upon myself to
say that if you had not neglected the opportunity of hearing your father and me
preach, you would have been a different man than you are now.
But it seems that time has
passed! Your father is on duty. You probably won't see him for long; and you
don't know you'll see me anymore. Whether you like it or not, I sincerely
advise you to make friends with Mr. Dickinson. [Peard Dickinson.] He is a sensible
and pious man, and has a fond regard for you. I give you to him who can sustain
you through all temptations. -- I am, dear Sammy,
Your caring uncle. [24]
I'm so aware of your true
friendship
To
Henry Brooke
WILLIAM STREET, [DUBLIN],
21 April 1783.
DEAR HARRY, -- Your letter
has given me pleasure, and it has also suffered. It has given me pleasure
because it was written in a gentle and loving spirit; and it has caused me pain
because I have perceived that it has hurt you, whom I love and cherish so
dearly. But I will do no more: I sincerely thank you for your kind rebuke; it
is a precious balm—and, I hope, in the hands of the Great Physician, it will be
a means of curing my disease. I am so conscious of your true friendship here
that I cannot write without weeping. The words you mention were too strong;
they will no longer fall from my mouth.
My dear Harry, don't stop
praying for
Your brother[25]
The enemy has put on the
face of an angel, and you take him as a friend
I fear you are on the edge
of a precipice, and you do not know it. The enemy has put on the face of an
angel, and you take him as a friend. Retire at once! Do not go near the tents
of those dead, formal men called Quakers! Be near your class, your band, your
old teachers; They have the words of eternal life!
To Mary Stokes
SHEFFIELD, August 10, 1772.
MY DEAR SISTER,--Having finished for now my
business at Leeds, [Where the Conference met on the 4th.] I have come this far
on my journey to Bristol. But I must take Haverfordwest by the way there; so I
do not expect to be there till the 30th of the day. How many blessings can you
receive in the meantime, provided you seek them in the good old way in which
you received the Lord Jesus Christ! Then still walk in it. Beware of following
new ways! Of being wise above this is written! Perhaps we shall find sweetness
in the beginning; but it would be bitterness in the end. O my sister, my
friend, I fear for you! I doubt you are getting out of the way. When you go
into your closet, close the door, and pray to your Father who boils in secret,
then it is time to groan to Him who reads the heart the unspeakable prayer. But
to be silent in the congregation of His people is altogether new, and therefore
utterly wrong. Never has a silent meeting been heard of in the Church of Christ
for sixteen hundred years. I beg you to read with much prayer that little
pamphlet A Letter to a Quaker. [See letters of February 10, 1748, and March 17,
1771 (to her).] I fear you are on the edge of a precipice, and you know it not.
The enemy has put on the face of an angel, and you take him as a friend. Retire
at once! Do not go near the tents of those dead, formal men called Quakers! Be
near your class, your band, your old teachers; They have the words of eternal
life! Have any of them offended you? Has any obstacle been placed in your way?
Hide nothing from my dear Molly,
Yours with true affection.
In ten days, I hope to be in Haverfordwest.
Kind and affectionate
brother. [26]
What I
am to you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend
And
sometimes you have been free and open with me; But at other times you have been
more timid and distant. My Nancy, may this time of distance and reserve not
come back! Be to me always (if you can) what I am to you, a faithful and
tender-hearted friend
To Ann
Bolton
BRISTOL, September 27, 1777.
Shall I
not tell my dear friend all that is in my heart? I see no reason why I should
not do so. I have been doing this since I first met you, and especially since
you were with me in London. Then I got a more intimate acquaintance with you: I
tasted your spirit. I observed all your tempers, and marked you as the 'sister
of my choice.' Therefore I have looked upon you ever since, without any
interval or variation. And sometimes you have been free and open with me; but
at other times you have been more timid and distant. My Nancy, may this time of
distance and reserve not come back! Be to me always (if you can) what I am to
you, a faithful and tender-hearted friend.
No doubt
Satan, who well understands how the mind is influenced by the body, can, by
means of those parts of the animal machine which are most immediately
subservient to thought, raise a thousand perceptions and emotions in the mind,
so far as God permits. I doubt not, but he was the chief agent in his last and
painful exercises. [See the September 15 letter to her.] And you gave him the
upper hand by reasoning with him—that is, by fighting him himself with his own
weapons; instead of simply looking up and saying, 'Thou shalt answer for me, O
Lord my God.'
No doubt
you want more gratitude. And you want more simplicity; that grace, says
Cambray, 'which cuts off the soul from all unnecessary reflections upon
itself.' You are enveloped by ten thousand mercies; and the greatest of all is,
'Christ in a pure and undefiled heart! Beware of admitting any doubt or
reasoning about it! To which you have attained, stand firm! And use all the
grace you have received. Warn all, and exhort all, especially those who groan
after full salvation.
In no
way can I not go a whole day without commending you to God in prayer. Thank you for writing to me so
soon.
Keep
loving and praying for, my dear Nancy,
With all
the affection. [27]
I'm not a great friend of
solitary Christianity
I am no great friend of solitary Christianity;
however, in a case as peculiar as yours, I think an exception may be admitted.
It seems very convenient that you should retire from Edinburgh, at least for a
time, until God shall increase your strength
To Lady Maxwell
LONDON, August 17, 1764.
MY DEAREST MALADY,--Since I have had the
pleasure of you, I have scarcely had an hour which I could call my own;
otherwise I should not have taken so long to write, for I have a very fond
regard for you, and a sincere desire that you should be thoroughly Christian. I
cannot be content with you being so harmless or regular in your behaviour, or
even exemplary in all outward respects; nay, more than all this you have ever
received, for you fear God. But you must stop here, God forbid! This is only
the beginning of wisdom. You must not end here: fear will ripen into love. You
will know (perhaps very soon) that love of God which imparts knowledge. You
will witness the kingdom of God within you, even to righteousness, peace, and
joy in the Holy Spirit.
It is no small instance of God's goodness to you
that you should be conscious of your desire, of your 'lack of divine living
faith.' And His goodness here is all the more remarkable, because almost all
your neighbors would set you up as a true good believer. O beware of these
flatterers! Hold fast to the conviction God has given you! Faith, living,
conquering, loving the faith, is doubtless what you desire. And of this you
often have a taste to encourage you to go on: such is the tender mercy of him
who loves you; such a desire of Him that you should receive all His precious
promises! Do not think that they are far from it. Do not imagine that you have
to stay a long time (years or months) before you receive them. Do not put them
off a day, not an hour! Why not now? Why do you not look up now and see, as if
it were possible, Jesus Christ departed, evidently placed Himself, crucified
before your eyes? O listen to His voice--'Daughter, be in good humour; Your
sins are forgiven you!' 'Say not in thine heart, Who shall ascend into heaven,
or who shall descend into the depths of the air?' 'No; 'The word is near thee,
even in thy mouth and in thy heart.' 'Lord, I believe; Help my unbelief.'
Joy in the Holy Ghost is a precious gift from
God, but yet tenderness of conscience is a still greater gift; And all this is
for you. Just ready, The wordless wonder that dares not move, And the whole
silent heaven of love. I am no great friend of solitary Christianity; yet, in a
case as peculiar as yours, I think an exception may be admitted. It seems very
convenient that you should retire from Edinburgh, at least for a time, until
God shall increase your strength. For the company of those who know not God,
who are strangers to the religion of the heart, especially if they be sensible
and agreeable people, may rather weaken the grace of God in your soul.
You cannot please me more than by telling me all
that is in your heart; There is no danger of you tiring me. I myself do not
usually write such long letters; but when I write to you, I am full of subject.
I seem to see you right before me, a poor, frail, helpless creature, but on the
edge of salvation; erect of heart (in some measure), full of real desires for
God, and emerging into the light. May the Lord take you whole! So please, my
dear lady, Your affectionate servant. [28]
Why do you forget your friends?
Nancy, Nancy! Why do you
forget your friends? Why do you tempt me to get mad? I tell you again, you're
going to lose your job: I can't be mad at you. You're wonderfully slow to
write. Come, I hope you'll make me up (if you're okay) with a long letter
To Ann Bolton
BRISTOL, September 16,
1771.
Nancy, Nancy! Why do you
forget your friends? Why do you tempt me to get angry? I tell you again, you
will lose your job: I cannot be mad at you. You are wonderfully slow to write.
Come, I hope you will make me amends (if you are well) with a long letter. I
intend, God willing, to be at Wallingford on Monday, October 14th; at Witney on
Wednesday and Thursday; at High Wycombe on Friday; and in London on Saturday.
Do not delay in writing. I want to know how you are and what you are doing, as
well as how God's work goes on in Witney and elsewhere. And how they continue,
Brother Jaquis and his wife
Peace multiply upon you--
My dear Nancy, farewell! [29]
My dear friend
This, my dear friend,
is what has made me fear for you. It reminds me of you again and again. Faith
and hope are glorious gifts, as is every ray of eternity let into the soul. But
still, these are only means; The end of all, and the greatest of all, is love.
May the Lord now pour this into your heart as He has never done before
To Ann Bolton
LONDON, December 5,
1772.
MY DEAR SISTER,--I do
not know that you have ever asked me a question which I did not readily answer.
I have never heard anyone mention anything about you for that reason; but I
myself felt jealous of you. [See letter of November 28.] Perhaps I will find
fault with you which others do not; for I watch you on every side. I mark your
every move and temper, because I long for you to be without blemishes or
blemishes.
What I saw in London
prompted the first warning I gave you. George Bell, William Green, [See Diary,
iii. 265, iv. 94; C. Wesley's Journal, i. 429; and letter of November 26, 1762,
section I. 6, to Bishop Warburton.] and many others, then full of love, were
graced with extraordinary revelations and manifestations of God. But by this
Satan deceived them with the simplicity that is in Christ. By insensible
degrees they were led to value these extraordinary gifts more than the common
grace of God; and I could not convince them that one grain of humble love was
better than all these gifts put together. This, my dear friend, was what made
me fear for you. It reminds me of you again and again. Faith and hope are
glorious gifts, as is every ray of eternity let into the soul. But still, these
are only means; The end of it all, and the greatest of all, is love. May the
Lord now pour it into your heart as He never did before.
By all means, spend
an hour every other day in the work of love, even if you cannot help them as
you would. By entrusting you to the One who can make you perfect in every good
word and work, I am
With affection.[30]
But I couldn't leave my friend
I would then have walked if I had been alone, though the mud was deep
and the snow fell impetuously; but I could not leave my friend. So I waited
patiently until the man moved to mend the tracks
It was on Wednesday, March
31, 1762, that Wesley said, "Having been invited to preach at Wem, Mrs.
Glynne wished she could take me there in a carriage; but in little more than an
hour we were fast enough; yet the horses pulled till the tie rods broke. I
would then have walked if I had been alone, though the mud was deep and the
snow fell impetuously; but I could not leave my friend. So I waited patiently
until the man stirred to mend the tracks; and the horses pulled the horses so
that, with much noise, not long after the appointed time, I came to Wem." [31]
I advise you to make
it a sincere prayer; and surely God will give you a friend
I wonder you do not
find a person who knows how to sympathize with you. Surely there must be such a
one in the Witney Society; though you have not yet met them, perhaps for want
of prayer for it. I advise you to make it a sincere prayer; and surely God will
give you a friend
To Ann Bolton
EPWORTH, June 28,
1784.
MY DEAR NANCY, - The
strong and tender affection I have for you makes your letters always welcome.
Providence has seen the good of testing you for many years in the furnace of
affliction, but all will work together for your good. You will lose nothing but
your filth. I wonder you do not find a person who knows how to sympathize with
you. Surely there must be such a one in the Witney Society; though I have not
yet met them, perhaps for want of prayer for it. I advise you to make it a
sincere prayer; and surely God will give you a friend. Accommodability is only
the art of becoming all things to all men without hurting our own conscience.
St. Paul commands in these words: 'Give thanks to all men for the sake of their
edification.' Basic rules will hardly teach us how to do this. But those who
have a single eye can reach it, by the grace of God, through reflection and
experience. - I am, my dear Nancy,
Very affectionately
yours.
To Miss Bolton. Near
Witney,
Oxfordshire. [32]
Our relationship with
a dear friend
With our relationship
with a dear friend, God is often pleased to enlighten our understanding. But
this is only the second point: warming the heart is a blessing greater than the
light itself. And this effect I often find in your letters
To Peggy Dale,
LONDON, November 6,
1765.
MY DEAR SISTER,--
With our relationship with a dear friend, God is often pleased to enlighten our
understanding. But this is only the second point: warming the heart is a
blessing greater than the light itself. And this effect I often find in your
letters. May the Lord repay seven times in your own bosom! You still remain in
the persuasion that you will not live beyond the age of twenty-three [See
letter of December 31. She died at the age of thirty-three.] Do you remember
when or how it began? Is it still the same, whether your health is worse or
better? What mercy is it that death has lost its sting! Will it prevent any
real or substantial happiness? Will it prevent us from loving one another? Can
the interposed tide of Death Spirits one in Christ divide? Certainly not! All
that comes from Him is eternal like Himself. --My dear sister, farewell! To
Miss Helena Sánchez. Dale, at the Orphans' House, Newcastle-upon-Tyne. [33]
You have
affectionate, wise, and godly friends
But, blessed
be God, you have all the advantages that can well be conceived. You have
affectionate, wise, and godly friends, deeply experienced in the way of God.
You have leisure and opportunity for every good work, and for improvement in
all holiness
To Peggy Dale
[NEWMARKET], May 20,
1769.
To hear my dear Peggy
at this critical moment brings me special satisfaction. I wanted to know how
you endured such a trial, a wound in the most sensitive part. Now you have the
first proof that the God whom you serve can deliver you in every trial. You feel,
and yet you conquer. We have conquered everything when we can say, 'Not as I
will, but as you will.' I hope you will be delivered not only from suffering
for her, but from reasoning about yourself. You still see the best form and are
conscious of the advantages you enjoy. I allow some unmarried women to have
fewer advantages for eternity than they could have in a married state. But,
blessed be God, you have all the advantages that can well be conceived. You
have affectionate, wise, and godly friends, deeply experienced in the way of
God. You have leisure and opportunity for every good work and for improvement
in all holiness. May you improve every advantage to the utmost! And give more
and more comfort to, my dear Peggy,
His brother always affectionate. [34]
I would be happy to
have the opportunity to see my friends
You send me a
pleasant account of God's work on the island. If He acts, who will stay His
hand, I should be glad to have the opportunity to see my friends who are with
you once more; but I cannot reasonably expect it.
To
George Holder
DUBLIN, June 24, 1789.
DEAR GEORGE,-- You send me
a pleasing account of God's work in the island. If He acts, who will stay His
hand, I should be glad to have an opportunity to see my friends who are with
you once more; but I cannot reasonably expect it. On my last voyage the sea has
affected me more than ever in my life; that I may perceive that my travels are
drawing to a close. Brother Smith can take all the accounts to the Conference,
and will be assigned to England the following year. -- I am, dear George,
Your friend. [35]
But you don't take
these as your true friends who say what they think is wrong
For Ms. Ryan
WEDNESBURY, March 25,
1764.
MY DEAR SISTER,--I am
glad that you have written and that you write so freely. It needs no
reservations between you and me. It is very easy for you to judge by what you
have heard. Who are they who 'always praise me' (i.e. to my face)? I really
know nothing of it. They say you must do it. But I think you are free from accusation. Sure of it, then, I
cling to none for it. For I know not men.
But you 'don't take
those as your true friends who say what they think is wrong.' Don't I accept
Sally Ryan and Mary Bosanquet as my real friends? And certainly they told me
more about that kind of thing than they did to everyone else.
Now you find an
unbroken communion with God He is in all your thoughts In what sense you pray
always and in everything You give thanks You are always happy Your will is
wholly subject to God's will You feel no repulsion to any of His dispensations
Keep praying for, my dear sister, Your loving brother. [36]
Affectionate friend and
brother.
You prejudice my close friends against me
By telling stories, you separate your top
friends. You prejudice my close friends against me. I didn't deserve this from
you. Leave me alone. I act to the best of my judgment
For
Arthur Keene
PORTARLINGTON, April 23,
1789.
MY DEAR ARTHUR, -- I will
not, dare no longer draw the saw of controversy; especially with James Deaves,
[See letters of August 2, 1788 (to Mrs. Ward) and May 20.] who will dispute
through a stone wall.
In God's name, I've done
it! You can't do anything good by objecting. But you do a lot of harm. You've
hurt your own spirit. You hurt others. You light a flame. You dampen and hinder
God's work. By telling stories, you separate your top friends. You prejudice my
close friends against me. I didn't deserve it from you. Leave me alone. I act
to the best of my judgment. Speaking once, you did well. But it's no good for
me to worry like that. I'd like James Deaves to mind his own business. If he
wants to resign me, let him do it quietly. If you personally have something to
say to me, that's fine! But I have nothing more to say to him—namely, James
Deaves behind the curtain. No one but him could uproot you
Your old and affectionate
brother. [37]
We received sweet counsel
together and walked to God's house as friends
We
received sweet counsel together and walked to the house of God as friends.
Suddenly you renounced all contact with me, because, you said, I had left the
Church
For Arthur Keene
April 28, 1790
-- Many years you and I loved each other as
brothers. We were united by no common tie. We received sweet counsel together,
and walked to the house of God as friends. Suddenly you renounced all contact
with me, because, you said, I had left the Church. Alas! What a cause! Could it
be that friends like me were discarded for such a reason as this? (...)”.
"May the peace of God be with you and
yours! I no longer depend on seeing you until we meet in the world of spirits.
Dear Arthur, goodbye!". [38]
[1]
https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1777/
[2]
https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1769/
[3]
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[4]
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[5]
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[6]
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[7]
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[8]
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[9]
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[10]
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[11]
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[12]
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[13]
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[14]
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[15]
https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1778/
[16]https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1790/
[17]
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[18]
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[19]
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[20]
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[21]
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[22] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1769/
[23]
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[24]
https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1788/
[25]
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[26]
https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1782/
[27]
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[28] https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-letters-of-john-wesley/wesleys-letters-1764/
[29]
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[30]
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[31] https://www.ccel.org/w/wesley/journal/cache/journal.pdf
[32]
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[33]
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[34]
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[35]
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[36]
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[37]
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[38]
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